Never thought you’d be dating again? Whether you experienced the death of a spouse, a divorce, or another life event that has you back on the dating scene, it may feel overwhelmingly different from what you were used to before. The dating game has changed big time, but that doesn’t mean you can’t go for it over 50.
If you find yourself wanting to share your life with someone new, you must date to make it a reality. Although we all love the idea of love arriving on our doorstep, it usually doesn’t happen that way, no matter how many romance novels you get your hands on. So, what is a seasoned person to do when they get thrust into the dating scene that has become dominated by apps, texting, and more?
Don’t dive in until you know what you want.
You must surf the learning curve of dating in 2022 to find love. First things first, though: You’ve got to know what you want. You can dive into the pool of candidates, but if you don’t know what you are looking for, you probably won’t have much success. Your life has most likely changed a lot since the last time you dated. If your last foray into the dating scene was in your 20s, you may now have commitments like children, a job, a mortgage, or aging parents to attend to.
So, before you find yourself a date for Friday night, sit with yourself and really hash out what you want. Do you want something committed or a fling? Do you want to open yourself up to physical romance early on or do you want to wait? What do you need in a partner to be happy in your relationship? What did you learn from your past relationships, and have you done the work to grow from your own mistakes?
When you ask yourself these questions, try to do so without judging your answers. If you want just a fling, there is no harm in that. If you need someone who communicates clearly, make sure that is a priority in your search. If you still have some work to do to get over your divorce, figure out if that will hinder your dating life. Set boundaries from the get-go. You are a seasoned veteran now, after all.
Don’t be scared to wade into the online scene.
You may have never dated using apps before, and if that is the case there are some things to know before you swipe. Some who go into the dating scene in their 50s will probably remember when it was easy to meet someone at a bar or out and about. Remember, though, you are not only dating in our modern, technology-driven world, but also a post-pandemic one. People’s behavior has changed drastically since 2020, and online dating apps are more popular than ever.
Think of it like a worldwide cocktail party, only you get to set filters on who you encounter. Not bad, right? Just make sure you pay close attention to how you are setting up your profile. Stay true to yourself. Keep your list of what you are looking for in the forefront of your mind and don’t sell yourself short.
The online dating scene is at your fingertips all the time, especially if you own a smartphone. Therefore, it is important to maintain a boundary with yourself about how much of your time you are willing to shell out each day or week. Set a time limit for scrolling, such as 30 minutes a day, to help you maintain a sense of being present in the real world.
Found a match?
If you find a match, remember that communications have changed drastically. Texting now makes it possible to always contact each other. Again, this is a great time to hash out your own boundaries regarding what amount of your time you are willing to give over to texting or calling someone you are dating. Have an honest conversation with that person so they understand from the get-go and don’t have to wonder if you are interested.
Dating isn’t what it used to be, but it isn’t impossible, either. Many people over 50 are making dating apps, texting, and modern-day romance work for them. No matter the reason you find yourself searching for love later in life, you deserve to find it, so get out there and dive in.