September is National Suicide Prevention Month, and the Hancock Health Connection Center has been working to start the conversation and raise awareness around the many available resources. Talking about suicide can seem awkward and difficult, but these necessary conversations may save lives. Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the United States, with 49,476 Americans dying by suicide in 2022, according to the Centers for Disease Control. During that same year, there were an estimated 1.6 million suicide attempts in the United States.
Let’s talk about how you can navigate this somewhat scary territory with someone you care about:
1. Know your suicide prevention resources
It’s tempting to think we’re equipped to handle these conversations alone. But suicide is a complex, multi-faceted problem. Many local and national resources are a phone call or text away from the information you are seeking:
- The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline can connect you to caring, trained mental health counselors. Your call is free and confidential, and the lifeline is available 24/7.
- The Hancock Health Connection Center has a caring staff of support navigators and a Mobile Response Team to connect people with local resources. The Connection Center can be reached at 317-468-4231. The Mobile Response Team can be reached at 317-468-4742. The hours of operation are M-Th 8:30 to 4:30 and Friday 8 to 4.
- The International Association for Suicide Prevention maintains a web page of resources for suicidal crisis support, including crisis numbers and steps for supporting someone who is experiencing thoughts of suicide.
- The Connection Center periodically hosts its Question, Persuade, and Refer (QPR) Suicide Prevention Training classes to help individuals recognize the signs of self-harm and suicidal ideation. Our next class is set for November 22. We also offer them upon request for small groups. Email ahinkle@hancockhealth.org for inquiries.
Before initiating the conversation, take a moment to reflect on your own feelings and reactions. It’s natural to feel anxious or unsure, but grounding yourself in compassion and a willingness to listen can make a significant difference. Remember that your goal is to offer support and hope, not to solve the problem.
2. Ask the right questions
Start the conversation gently. You might say something like, “I’ve noticed you’ve been going through a tough time lately, and I want you to know that I’m here for you.” Use open-ended questions to encourage dialogue, such as, “How have you been feeling lately?” or “Can you tell me more about what you’re going through?” Let them know that they are in a safe space with someone who will not judge them for their vulnerabilities. Avoid phrases that might sound dismissive or minimizing, like “You have so much to live for” or “Things could be worse.”
Sometimes, however, you just have to ask. Contrary to a common belief, mentioning suicide is not going to trigger someone who isn’t already considering it. However, it can open the door for someone who is afraid to admit out loud that they’re struggling with thoughts of suicide or self-harm.
3. Actively listen
Active listening involves giving your full attention and acknowledging the other person’s feelings without trying to fix them immediately. Use reflective statements like, “It sounds like you’re feeling really overwhelmed right now,” to validate their experience. Sometimes, just knowing that someone cares can provide significant relief.
Remember, people experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicide may feel like they have lost control of everything in their lives. If you sense that you have the luxury of a little more time, try to let them make the decisions while you offer to be their supportive friend. Simply saying, “I’m concerned about you. How can we work on this?” may open the door to finding the help and resources they need.
4. Watch out for suicide red flags
Loved ones often struggle in the aftermath of a suicide attempt, wondering how they missed the warning signs. Unfortunately, people who are considering suicide or self-harm may not give any warnings to let you know what’s going on in their brains. However, there are certain red flags that may prompt you to start a conversation:
- Statements like “I won’t be around for that” or “I don’t have to worry about that” should be taken seriously.
- Some people may give away their valued possessions because they have decided to end their lives.
- Keep an eye out for a dramatic change in attitude. If someone seems to go from being down and depressed to acting happy and excited, this also may indicate a decision to move forward with plans for ending their lives.
5. Take care of yourself
Supporting someone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts can be emotionally draining. Ensure you’re also taking care of your own mental health. Seek support from friends, family, or mental health professionals if you need it. Remember, your well-being is important, too.
6. Follow up periodically
After the initial conversation, continue to check in on the person. Let them know you’re still there for them and that they are not alone. Small gestures of kindness and support can make a big difference over time. Recovery from suicidal thoughts or crises is often a long process. Be patient and persistent in your support. Understand that progress might be slow and that there will be ups and downs. Your ongoing presence can be a critical source of comfort and stability.
The Hancock Health Connection Center is here to connect residents with supportive local resources within the community. If you are concerned about a loved one—or if you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicide—reach out to the Connection Center or Mobile Response Team now. Our trained staff can offer a non-judgmental, listening ear and help you determine your next steps. As always, if someone is threatening themselves or their loved ones, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or 911 for immediate assistance.