Unless you’ve been going to Gateway Hancock Health for all of your immediate care, labs, and imaging services, chances are you’ve come into contact with Skwibble. He’s the Grouchie who thrives on confusion, especially when it means bills you don’t understand for procedures you’re not entirely sure you received.
But who really wants to live a life of confusion? At Gateway, we certainly don’t. Still, we were curious about the guy, so we tracked him (them?) down and asked a few questions.
Q: Do you have just one name or three? Because it looks like there’s one of you, but you have three heads. We’re already baffled.
Skwibble: We’re Skwibble. We’re just one guy. Or maybe three. We’re not sure. We like it that way. It’s unsettled, which settles us nicely.
Q: Oh, OK…Where did you come from?
Skwibble: Billing departments at urgent care, lab, and imaging facilities. We look for anything confusing, which makes our heads happy!
Q: You wouldn’t like Gateway Hancock Health, then. We’re proud of our simple billing process and the fact that our patients get one bill for all of their services instead of multiple bills from the lab, the doctor, and others. Everything’s easy and clear. Why do you prefer the opposite?
Skwibble: Attracted to we’re bills complicated!
Q: What the…
Skwibble: Sorry. Our words get scrambled sometimes. Fun it is! But, your question: We like complicated healthcare bills and enjoy skwibbling them up even more.
Q: OK. Do you have other hobbies or is skwibbling your only creative outlet?
Skwibble: Playing Scrabble without vowels and reading government tax codes before bed.
Q: Yikes. What do you eat?
Skwibble: Our mouths like a lot of things, but it’s best if the ingredients don’t go together. Like hot dogs on ice cream. They’re good with sardines!
Q: Ew. Stay away from Gateway, then. One more question: Do you like humans? Glump says Grouchies don’t like humans.
Skwibble: Grumpy Glump is! We do like humans, but mostly the bewildered and the befuddled. And that’s why you’ll never see us at Gateway Hancock Health—the humans there are too clear-headed. Some even know what they’ll pay before they get their care because Gateway offers estimates up front. Then they walk around with only one easy-to-read bill for all of their services. The simplicity makes our brains explode.
Then, as quickly as Skwibble appeared, he zipped off, stopping only once (to give someone bad directions).
Thankfully, that was the last we saw of Skwibble. And if you’re looking for Skwibble-less care, visit us at Gateway Hancock Health, where you’ll get immediate care, labs, and imaging without confusing bills. We’ve even got simple Save Your Spot technology, so you can get in line online, before you arrive. And if you have any questions, contact one of our friendly staff members by calling 317-866-7300 and we’ll always make things clear and easy.
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