Post-traumatic stress: How can you help your loved one?

You can support someone who is dealing with stress after a scary or painful event. This stress could be from an accident, abuse — such as verbal, physical, domestic or sexual — military combat or another type of trauma.

If someone has strong stress symptoms in the first month after the event, such as feeling scared, having flashbacks or nightmares, having trouble sleeping, or feeling on edge, the person may have acute stress disorder (ASD). If these symptoms last longer than a month and make it hard to do everyday things such as going to school or work, the person may have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Whether it’s ASD or PTSD, talking with a mental health professional can help. Encourage your loved one to get this kind of help.

You also can help by being a good listener. Here are some tips:

• Be willing to listen, but don’t push or judge. Let your loved one know that you’re willing to discuss any feelings your loved one has. If the person doesn’t want to talk yet, that’s OK. Just remind your loved one that you’ll be there when it comes time to talk.
• Choose a time to talk. Choose a quiet time and place with no distractions. Listen carefully. Ask questions if you don’t understand, but don’t try to fix things or say, “I know how you feel.”
• Recognize when to take a break. If the talk gets too intense, suggest stopping and talking again another day. Make sure to follow up later. Take clues from how your loved one speaks and behaves and use these clues to guide your talks. This can help the person feel understood and safe.
• Get help if the person talks about suicide. If your loved one says or does something that makes you think your loved one might cause self-harm, stay calm but act fast. Don’t leave the person alone. If it’s safe, remove anything that could be used to cause harm, such as pills or weapons, and get help right away.

If you think your loved one may attempt suicide, use these options to get help now:

• Call 911 or your local emergency number.
• Contact a suicide hotline. In the U.S., call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Or use the Lifeline Chat. Services are free and confidential.

Coping with traumatic stress takes time, and there is no set time for recovery. You might have many talks with your loved one over weeks or months as the person works through feelings during or after getting help from a mental health professional.

You can be more helpful if you learn about ASD and PTSD from trusted sources and encourage your loved one to follow the treatment plan. You also can help your loved one stay connected with friends and family who show support and offer a sense of safety and community.

And don’t forget to take care of yourself. Supporting someone through trauma can be hard. Take time for the things you enjoy, accept help from others and talk with a mental health professional if you need help coping.