Coming out to friends and family can be an intimidating experience. Young people may be especially vulnerable to mental health concerns, with almost 40 percent of LGBTQIA young people considering suicide in the past year. The Hancock Health Connection Center works to provide support and resources for residents who struggle with challenges in their daily lives, including people who are coming out or who love someone who may be ready to come out. Read on for tips on being a safe, affirming person for someone who is ready to live their truth:
What does it mean to be a safe person to someone who is coming out?
A safe person is someone who creates a space where others feel comfortable, valued, and respected, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. It’s about listening without judgment, offering support without conditions, and advocating for equality.
Here are some ways you can be a safe person for your loved one:
- Listen actively and without judgment: When your loved one shares their coming out story, give them your full attention. Avoid interrupting or offering unsolicited advice. Simply listen, show empathy, and let them know you’re there for them.
- Educate yourself: Take the time to learn about LGBTQIA issues and experiences. This will help you understand your loved one’s perspective better and avoid making assumptions.
- Use inclusive language: Be mindful of the language you use. Avoid using harmful stereotypes or slurs. Instead, use inclusive terms that affirm your loved one’s identity.
- Support their journey: Offer your support as they navigate the challenges and joys of coming out. This might involve attending LGBTQIA events, joining support groups, or simply spending quality time together.
- Advocate for equality: Use your voice to promote LGBTQIA rights and equality. This could involve speaking out against discrimination, supporting LGBTQIA organizations, or voting for politicians who support their cause.
- Be patient: Coming out can be a complex and emotional process. Be patient with your loved one as they explore their identity and navigate their new life.
Remember, being a safe person is about more than just words. It’s about demonstrating your commitment to love, acceptance, and respect. By following these steps, you can create a supportive and affirming environment for your loved one and contribute to a more inclusive world.
Dos and don’ts for listening to a friend who is coming out to you
When a friend comes out to you, it’s a sign of trust. Here are some dos and don’ts to keep in mind:
Dos:
- Listen actively: Give your friend your full attention. Avoid interrupting or offering unsolicited advice.
- Show empathy: Let your friend know you understand and care. Use phrases like, “I’m here for you,” or “I’m glad you trusted me with this.”
- Ask open-ended questions: This can help you understand their experience better. For example, you could ask, “How are you feeling about coming out?” or “What has the process been like for you?”
- Support their decisions: Respect their choices and avoid judgment. Let them know you support them, no matter what.
- Learn more: Educate yourself about LGBTQIA issues and experiences. This will help you be a better ally.
Don’ts:
- Assume anything: Don’t make assumptions about your friend’s identity or experiences. Let them share their story in their own time.
- Ask probing questions: Avoid asking questions that are too personal or intrusive.
- Make jokes or comments: Avoid making jokes or comments that could be hurtful or insensitive.
- Compare their experience: Don’t compare your friend’s coming out experience to your own or others’.
- Expect them to be an expert: Remember that coming out is a personal journey. Your friend may not have all the answers.
By following these guidelines, you can create a safe and supportive space for your friend as they come out. If you are looking for more resources to help you support your loved one, reach out now to the Hancock Health Connection Center at 317-468-4231 or find out more at https://www.hancockhealth.org/wellness-education/connection-center/.
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